Quite a Cooky Couple, You'll Agree
by TheHomemadeDarkmark
Summary: After seeing the first two plays online, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny go see A Very Potter Senior Year
1. Intro

Harry Potter sat in front of his computer screen, open-mouthed. His two best friends, Ron and Hermione, and his wife, Ginny, wore similar expressions.

"What the bloody hell was that all about?" Ron asked.

The rest just shrugged. They had just finished two full two act musicals... about them. Harry had discovered them online when he had been on YouTube. The idea intrigued him, so he had called over his friends, and the four of them watched it. Harry just couldn't believe it.

Books about him. Sure. Movies? Alright. Puppet Pals? Now things were getting wierd. But this! This "Team Starkid" had ruined his entire image completely! A Very Potter Musical and A Very Potter Sequel were the two most odd things he could ever imagine!

He had to admit, they were funny. Malfoy's character had caused them all to laugh hysterically, and Quirrel and Voldemort had taken them ten minutes of paused time to catch their breath again. But, still, it made his entire world seem ridiculous.

"Harry, click that, it says something about another one, and it's recent," Hermione said, pointing to a video link labeled, "A Very Potter Senior Year Update." It had been posted just the previous week. Harry clicked it.

Two guys came up on the screen. The one on the right began talking. "Hey, guys, I'm Nick Lang, and this is my brother, Matt Lang," he started. Harry recognized the face and voice as the guy who played Mr. Weasley, the Sorting Hat, the Scarf of Sexual Preference, and Peter Pettigrew. The guy continued. "So, as you probably all know, the third of our Very Potter Musical trilogy was performed at Leaky Con. We are currently working on getting that posted, but before we do, we wanted to give you guys another shot to see it live."

The other guy, Matt, cut in. "We are going to do three more shows. These will all be performed in Chicago. Tickets are on sale now, and can be purchased at the link below."

The brothers went through the dates, place, and times, which Harry quickly jotted down.

Ginny saw what he was doing. "Harry, you can't be serious!"

"Actually, he-" Ron began, but Hermione hit him over the head, stopping him from making a joke involving the pun of Harry's godfather's name.

Harry ignored him. "I am dead serious, Gin." He turned to the other two. "We are going to see A Very Potter Senior Year."


	2. Act 1 Part 1

The four of them walked into the crowded theater. Hordes of teenage girls sat around, wearing Starkid merchandise, blue headbands, and eating Redvines. The girls went to grab some snacks while the boys went to find good seats, managing to take some near the front, by some miracle.

As soon as they were all settled, the lights in the house dimmed, along with the ones on stage rose. A cheer erupted from the audience, which was full of fans of the other shows.

A voice rang through the room.

**Narrarator: Scene 1- The Department of Mysteries. A dark stage; we hear the "ding" of an elevator as it comes to a stop. An elevator voice says, "Bottom Floor. The Department of Mysteries.**

**Luna: Lumos! (lights up on Luna Lovegood, her wand drawn; she exits the elevator)**

**Neville: Luna! Wait for me! (Neville Longbottom enters from teh elevator, out of breath)**

**Luna: Come on, Neville!**

**Neville: Sorry It's a nervous tick; I slow down whenever I have to hurry up.**

"Well, isn't that counterproductive," Hermione said.

Ron rolled his eyes. "I think that's the point."

**Luna: Wow, we're here. The Department of Mysteries. Isn't it wonderful? All the world's most mysterious and magical anomolies in one booby-trapped labyrinth. I wanna see the Room of Death! (she takes out a small, pink camera) Smile, Neville! (she snaps a pic, the flash goes off)**

Ginny giggled. "The sad thing is," she said, "I can completely see Luna doing that."

"Hey Harry? Isn't that the girl who played Luna in the movies?" Hermione asked, recognizing the pretty blond.

Harry looked closer. His eyes widened. "Actually, I think it is!"

**Neville: Can we just find the rest of the DA? Before the Death Eaters (gulp) find us!**

**Luna: Oh, yeah, we're here on a mission. The very last of the Death Eaters broke in and we gotta catch 'em! Maybe I should turn my flash off. (the flash flashes again) Oops! That'll be a good one! (NEville Panics and jumps into her arms)**

**Neville: Ahh!**

**Luna: Neville, don't be such a guppy. What's the worst that could happen?**

"Little Mermaid!" Harry blurted. Hermione frowned.

Ron and Ginny groaned. "Again? Really?" Ron asked. All through the first two plays the two of them had been racing to see who could catch the reference first. The siblings had been very annoyed.

**Neville: We could get caught by Death Eaters.**

**Luna: I think you mean: get killed by the Death Eaters. That would be a lot worse.**

**Neville: Oh d-d-dear!**

**Luna: IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME COMING,**

**BUT TONIGHT IS THE END OF THE WAR MY FRIEND,**

**TOMORRW ONLY ONE SIDE WILL REMAIN!**

**WE WILL WIN OR WE WILL LOSE THE FIGHT,**

**EITHER WAY IT'S THE END, NO USE TO PRETEND.**

**IT'S THE FINAL SHOW, WE GOTTA GO, MEET OUR DESTINY!**

**THIS IS THE END!**

**(Luna and Neville are suddenly surrounded by Death Eaters, they close in and grab the kids)**

**Neville: Oh, no! Death Eathers!**

**Luna: Be merciful and kill us quickly! (Fenrir Greyback slowly stalks his way into the room)**

**Fenrir: Well, well, well. Luna Lovegood and Neville Schlong-bottom.**

The group giggled as they remembered the play on their old friends name from the other plays. As much as they loved Neville, they had to admit it was funny.

**Luna: Gasp! Fenrir Greyback! (snaps a picture)**

"Only Luna would take a picture of the evil werewolf about to kill them," Ron chuckled.

**Death Eater #1: Should we kill them now, sir?**

**Fenrir: Oh, these two little piggies are gonna make a yummy snack, but not yet. For now, they'll serve as hostages. The rest of Dumbledore's Army must be here... somewhere. **

**Neville: You won't get away with this, you villains!**

**Fenrir: Oh, really?**

They laughed at the high pitch the actor's voice took on for those two words.

**Fenrir: You DA brats have been a thorn in our side all through your sixth year at Hogwarts, but tonight, we reclaim the ultimate weapn, and the Death Eaters will rise again! Dolohov!**

**Death Eater #2: Yes, master. (bringing Fenrir a small pouch)**

**Fenrir: The department of Mysteries is protected by the most arcane and powerful spells. That's why the weapon was hidden from us for all these years. But now that we're inside... the medallion should work. (he removes the Horcrux-Seeking Medallion from the pouch and listens to it)**

"Is that the medallion-thing from the first play?" Ginny asked. Harry nodded.

"Yeah, I think." They were shushed by someone behind them.

**Fenrir: This way! (Fenrir heads off and the Death Eaters follow, dragging Luna and Neville along)**

**Death Eaters: YOUR TIME IS RUNNING OUT.**

**WHERE IS YOUR HERO NOW?**

**YOU CAN LOOK EVERYWHERE,**

**BUT HE'S NOWHERE TO BE FOUND.**

**YOU LOOK TO YOUR RIGHT,**

**YOU'RE NOT GONNA FIND HIM!**

**YOU LOOK TO YOUR LEFT,**

**HE'S NOT EVEN THERE!**

**DON'T EVEN TRY, HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOU.**

**HE'S MOVED ON,**

**HE'S GONE, HE'S GONE, HE'S GONE!**

**THIS IS THE END!**

**(Fenrir, the Death Eaters, and the kids reach a safe; Fenrir holds the medallion to the safe, then his ear)**

**Fenrir: Here it is. Macnair! (he summons Macnair; Macnair brings his axe down on the safe, cracking it. Fenrir picks up a small diary) Yes... At last! At last! Finally the ultimate arifact of evil is within my grasp! Now all of wizardom shall fall to the Dark Mark! You two, however, won't be around for the show. (he approaches Neville and Luna, licking his lips) I've been working so hard on this evil plan all year, I've worked up quite an appetite. It's time for a little weirdo sandwich, with extra mo-RON!**

**Ron: Did somebody say Ron? (pulls of Death Eater mask, revealing his disguise)**

Ginny smiled. "I just realized."

"Don't go there, Ginny," Ron warned.

"Your name is in moron, isn't it?"

"Shut up."

"I find that quite fitting."

Suddenly, Hermione was holding Ron back in his seat as he tried to jump at his sister.

**Fenrir: What?! No, I said mor-**

**Luna & Neville: Ron!**

**Ron: Stupify!**

**Fenrir: Argh! (Fenrir is hit by the spell and throws the diary into the air. Ron catches it.)**

**Ron: Yes! Come on guys, let's get outta here!**

**(the kids pretend to run)**

**Ron, Neville, & Luna: THIS IS THE END**

**Ron: OF ALL THE FIGHTING**

**Ron, Neville, & Luna: THIS IS THE END**

**Ron: THE PEOPLE DYING**

**Kids: THIS IS THE END**

**Ron: THERE'S NO TRYING TO DENY IT'S GONNA BE US OR THEM**

**Kids: THIS IS THE END**

**Ron: THE CURTAIN'S CLOSING**

**Kids: THIS IS THE END**

**Ron: THE FINAL SHOWING**

**Kids: THIS IS THE END**

**Ron: THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST SCENE IN THE WHOLE SHOW**

**Kids: THIS IS THE END**

"If this is gonna be the best scene in the whole show, I'm outta here," Ron said, jokingly.

"Feel free! Maybe then we'll get some quiet!" a voice hissed from behind them.

Ron, now annoyed, turned around to tell of the jerk, then froze. "Malfoy?!"

Malfoy's grey eyes narrowed. "Obviously."

"What are you doing here?" Hermione asked.

"Come to see your character hit on Hermione's some more?" Ginny asked, face a mask of over-exaggerated innocence.

His eyes narrowed even more, if that was possible. "Of course not. But the others were so ridiculous, I decided maybe it was time to have a little talk with my actor."

"You mean actress," Harry pointed out, grinning.

"Shut up and pay attention."

**(Ron, Neville, and Luna continue to run; they stop)**

**Ron: Alright, we're supposed to meet Hermione in here! (Hermione rushes into the room, also dressed like a Death Eater)**

**Hermione: Ron! There you are! (Luna grabs Neville's arm)**

**Luna: Neville! A Death Eater! Protect me!**

"Now that, right there, is as un-Luna-ish as I can possibly imagine." The rest nodded, agreeing with Ginny's statement.

**Neville: THIS IS MY MOMENT! **

**THIS IS MY TIME!**

**I'LL IMPRESS LUNA,**

**THEN SHE'LL BE MINE!**

**Take this you Death Eater (begins beating Hermione) This is for my family!**

**Hermione: Ah! My nose!**

**Ron: Neville, stop! That's Hermione! That's my girlfriend! (Ron pulls Neville off Hermione)**

**Neville: Oh, d-d-d-dear!**

**Ron: Hermione, are you okay?**

**Luna: Wow, Neville! That was really cool! I've always wanted to punch Hermione in the face!**

Hermione scowled. Harry, Ron, and Ginny all bit there tongues, restraining themselves, while Malfoy openly let out a snort, which blended with the laughter of the rest of the audience.

**Hermione: Oh, goddammit! I think my nose got broken! (she points her wand at her face) Reparo! Tell me, Ron, what's the damage? (Hermione removes the Death Eater mask)**

"That's not the same girl as before, is it?" Ron asked, noticing clear differences between this actress and the one from the previous musicals.

Hermione shook her head. "No. Yesterday I read up on it, and apparently the other girl dropped out of the group. This one replaced her.

**Ron: Woah... Hermione, don't be scared, but... you look hot!**

"And why, may I ask, would I be scared of a compliment?" Hermione asked, turning to her husband.

Ron shrugged, but flinched away. He had gotten quite a beating from the insults in the other plays.

**Hermione: Oh no! there goes all my credibility as an intellec- Really?!**

**Ron: Yeah! Look in this mirror! (Ron hands Hermione a mirror)**

**Hermione: Gasp! It didn't break!**

Hermione scowled again.

**Hermione: Well, I may look different, but you guys should just treat me like I'm the same old Hermione you know and love. (to the audience) And that goes for you all, too. (she winks and flashes a smile. She then notices the diary Ron is carrying) Ron, is that a book? I've never seen you with one of those before!**

**Ron: It's a diary. (he hands it to her) We're trying to keep it away from the Death Eaters!**

**Luna: And it's really fun.**

**(Death Eater #3 enters)**

**Death Eater #3: Rawr!**

**Kids: Death Eater! (the kids run)**

**Hermione: IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME COMING,**

**BUT TONIGHT IS THE END OF THE WAR MY FRIEND,**

**TOMORROW ONLY ONE SIDE WILL REMAIN.**

**All: THIS IS THE END.**

**OUR TIME IS RUNNING OUT.**

**THIS IS THE END.**

**WHERE IS OUR HERO NOW?**

**THIS IS THE END.**

**HE IS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND.**

**THIS IS THE END, **

**OF ALL THE FIGHTING.**

**THIS IS THE END,**

**THE PEOPLE DYING.**

**THIS IS THE END.**

**THERE'S NO TRYING TO DENY IT'S GONNA BE US OR THEM.**

**THIS IS THE END.**

**THIS IS THE END.**

**THIS IS THE END.**

**THIS IS THE END.**

**THIS IS THE END, THIS IS THE END, THIS IS THE END, THIS IS THE END, THIS IS THE END.**

**THIS IS THE END!**

"Did you ever get the faint idea, that this might just be the end?" Ginny asked.

"Whatever gave you that idea?" Harry asked her sarcastically.

**(The kids end up in the Room of Death. Death Eaters surround them)**

**Fenrir: Finally caught up with you meddlesome stinkers! Now, hand over that diary, you nerd! (grabs Hermione and attempts to take the diary) Struggle all you like!**

**Hermione: No! Get away!**

**Neville: Hermione! (points to an archway as it fills with light) It's H-H-**

**Hermione: Neville, help me!**

**Neville: It's... (he continues to point. Fenrir now notices the light as well)**

**Fenrir: Oh no. Not him. **

**Neville: It's Harry Potter! (Harry runs in)**

**Harry: Expelliarmus! (the Death Eaters all lose their wands and scramble away in terror)**

**Fenrir: Where are you going you cretins?! He's just a child! **

**Harry: I'm not a child anymore. I'm seventeen years old. Happy Birthday to me. And what better present than the last of the Death Eaters, all conveniently in the same place, wrapped in a big bow. You made a mistake coming here tonight, Fenrir.**

**Fenrir: You arrogant little-**

**Harry: You've been trying to kill me all year, and now you threaten my friends? Let's finish this. (He raises his wand)**

**Fenrir: As you wish. Avada Kedavr-**

**Harry: Jelly-Legs Jinx!**

The group couldn't help but cheer loudly with the rest of the crowd as the 'spell' was shouted. That had been one of their favorite jokes in the first two.

**Fenrir: Woah! Woah! My legs are jelly!**

**Death Eater #1: Let's get out of here! (they scatter to the doors)**

**Hermione: Harry! The rest of the Death Eaters are getting away!**

**Harry: Oh no, they're not! (The doors burst open)**

**Wizard Cop #1: Freeze motherf***er, we're the Wizard Cops!**

They cheered again at the parody version of the aurors. An auror himself, Harry found the way that they were compared to muggle police humorous.

**Kids: The Wizard Cops! (The cops hand-cuff all Death Eaters)**

**Wizard Cop #2: On the ground! On the ground!**

**(Kingsley Shacklebolt enters)**

**Kingsley: Well, chocolate frogs, Harry Potter did it again, ya'll!**

They group giggled, remembering the constant phrase from Cho Chang at the end of the other two shows.

**Hermione: Kingsley Shacklebold, the Minister of Magic!**

**Kingsley: And chief of the Wizard Cops. Well, now that ya'll saved the world and rounded up the last of these Dark Magic turkeys, I gotta aske: Why the hell can't you kids just let me do my job for once?!**

**Hermione: Mr. Shacklebolt, you don't understand! We had to stop the Death Eaters! Harry was having these visions...**

**Kingsley: Yeah, I already heard the whole story from your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. He's the one that gave us the call to come down here tonight. Come on in, Alastor!**

**Mad-eye Moody: Hello, hello, hello.**

**Kids: Mad-eye Moody!**

**Moody: That's right. That was some fine work you done here, Potter. I taught you well.**

**Harry: Thanks, Professor. **

**Moody: And you defeated Fenrir Greyback, did you?**

**Ron: He sure did!**

**Moody: Nice. Very nice.**

**Hermione: Looks like the Death Eaters were after this. (she holds up the diary) But we managed to keep it away from them. **

**Moody: And it's a good thing you did, Miss Granger. If the Death Eaters were to get a hold of that, then the entire world would be in jeopardy. You best hand that over to me now. I'll keep it nice and safe. (he reaches for the diary, but Harry intercepts him)**

**Harry: Oh, I'm sure you would, Professor Moody, or should I say... Barty Crouch!**

**(Moody rips of fake eye, revealing himself to be Barty Crouch Jr)**

**Barty Crouch: Blimey! (he grabs Kingsley and puts a gun to his head) No one move a goddamn muscle! Drop the wands. (the kids and cops drop their wands) So, Potter, how long have you known it was me?**

**Harry: I've had my suspicions for a while. It was briefly mentioned that Mad-Eye Moody died during my second year.**

"It was, wasn't it..." Harry mused, suddenly recalling the scene where Mrs. Weasley was listing off the dead, but then moving on as a pain seared through him from the memories.

**Harry: But I wasn't sure it was you until tonight. Now you're gonna answer for your crimes, Farty Crouch!**

"Great burn, Potter," Malfoy sneered sarcastically. "I'm sure that'd really sting."

"Shut up, Malfoy!"

**Crouch: Oh yeah? I've got a better idea. Me and Mr. Shacklebolt are gonna make our way to the Floo Network, and we're going on a nice little trip, and none of you jive-ass bobbies is gonna follow, you dig?**

**Kingsley: We dig, Mood-Eye. We dig.**

"Mood-Eye?" Hermione repeated, thrown into a fit of giggles, along with Ginny. The two girls could barely notice what happened next, due to their laughter.

**Harry: Oh, Barty, if you're going on a vacation, I know a first rate hotel that offers free bodyguard service and meals. It has every amenity. One could live there.**

**Crouch: Oh, I'm sure they require reservations.**

**Harry: Nope. You don't need one... for Hotel Askaban!**

**Crouch: That's enouth out of you, Potter, you self-righteous son of a bitch. (points gun at Harry) What's the matter, Potter? Afraid of a little muggle toy? Well, let's even the stakes then. (sets gun down & shoves Kingsley away) Just you and me now. Let's settle it the old fashioned way. Mano e Mano. Man to man. Fist to face. Come here you little bastard! **

**Hermione: Stupify!**

**Crouch: Ahh! (he's knocked out)**

**Kids: Yay!**

**Kingsley: That was some quick thinking. You just saved my life. But that still doesn't excuse what you kids did here tonight. Breaking into the Department of Mysteries, flying thestrals right through the Queen's Day parade. You kittens may think Dumbledore's Army can take on the world, but ya'll should have called us the second you heard some funky shit was going down here tonight!**

**Harry: Sorry, Kingsley, we just didn't have the time.**

**Kingsley: You know what, Potter?! You're a hot-shot loose cannon! It's that kind of maverick attitude... that makes you perfect for the Wizard Cops!**

**Kids: Wow!**

**Kingsley: So, what do you say, HP? You ready to join the force and take bite out of crime? **

**Harry: I'd love to. But I can't.**

**Kingsley: And why the hell not?**

**Harry: Cause I'm going back to Hogwarts. Senior year starts September first.**

**Kingsley: Haha. Well dang, HP, you're right. It's a shame though. You would've make on wizard-goddamn, wizard-hell of a Wizard Cop. Alright boys, pack these suckers up.**

"What did he say?" Hermione said, confused.

"I think it was 'wizard-goddamn, wizard-hell of a Wizard Cop," Draco recited, going through it slowly so he didn't stumble. How the actor had managed to race through flawlessly was a mystery.

**(Wizard Cops start taking Death Eaters away)**

**Harry: Beaten again. You Death Eaters never learn. Your Dark Lord's been dead for five years. Why do you guys keep hanging on to something that's over?**

**Crouch: Well, if it's over for me, then it's over for you too, Potter. All you are is someone who fights us. When we're gone, the world won't need a hero. And soon, you'll be forgotten. If the Dark Lord can't live forever, then neither can you. **

**Harry: (he looks at Crouch for a moment, the addresses the cops) Take him away.**


	3. Act 1 Part 2

**Narrarator: Scene 2- The Burrow. Lights up on the Burrow**

**Molly: Rise and shine, Weasleys! It's September first, and you know what that means! You little knuckleheads better be packed and ready to leave for school after breakfast!**

**Ginny: Hi, mom! Have you seen my boyfriend, Harry Potter?**

**Molly: No dear, I haven't. I've got all these extra kids staying at the house! Bill's wife. Ron's girlfriend. Harry's girlfriend! I'm swamped! Would yo go and wake everyone up for me?**

Ginny pouted. Harry knew she was unhappy with the whiny tone her character tended to take, and putting in that she was less important like that didn't help. Holding in his laughter, he put an arm around her.

**Ginny: You got it mom!**

**Narrarator: Ginny walks up a crooked staircase to the bedroom, where she finds Ron sittingo on the edge of the bed, lightly strumming a guitar and singing with his meager voice.**

**Ron: Hey!**

**Narrarator: Sorry.**

**Ginny: Heeeyyy, Harry Potter! It's time for breakfast!**

**Ron: Ahh! Ever heard of knocking?! Get outta my room! (he hides the guitar)**

**Ginny: It's my room too, Ronald! What are you doing in here, anyway?**

**Ron: None of your beeswax, thunder-butt!**

**Charlie: He's writing a love song for his girlfriend. (Charlie pops up from beneath the covers)**

**Ron: Charlie! Get outta here!**

**Charlie: It's my room too!**

**Fleur: It think it's romantic! (she pops up from beneath the covers)**

**Ron: Fleur!**

**Bill: I think you're romantic! (he pops up as well)**

**Fleur: Bill! (they kiss)**

**Ron: Ew! Get a room you two!**

**Bill: This is our room!**

"Why am I sensing a pattern here?" Ginny said, still a bit grumpy.

**Percy: Will you guys shut your fat faces! It's the butt-crack of dawn! (he also pops up)**

**Bill: Percy, you're just jealous of Ronnie's girlfriend and my beautiful wife. **

**Percy: As if! Argh! I'm gonna go sleep out in the garden! At least the gnomes are quiet!**

**Ron: Percy! Don't go out there! Hermione's reading in the garden!**

"Thank you, Ron," Hermione said, flashing him a smile.

**Percy: So? Why isn't she in here with you, Mr. Perfect?**

**Charlie: Yeah, what's up, Ron? WHy didn't Hermione crawl into bed with us last night?**

**Others: Yeah?**

**Ron: Well, she was up late reading. We haven't been spending too much time together cause she's really into these young adult novels lately.**

**(Percy storms out)**

**Ron: That's what the guitar is for. It thought I could sweep Hermione off her feet if I wrote her a song. I'm just trying to get her to kiss me again.**

Hermione pecked Ron on the cheek. "So sweet!"

**Charlie: Well, when was the last time she kissed you?**

**Ron: Let me think... Um... Yeah. It was that first time.**

**Fleur: Ron, as someone who's so very happy in love, I have advice for you. Just... how do you day?... Be yourself!**

**Ginny: Yeah, Ron! That's what girls want. Not love songs, or cheesy compliments, or surprise presents.**

"Three guesses what's coming next," Malfoy mumbled.

**Narrarator: Just then, Harry literally surfs into the room on a heart-shaped guitar, being held up by enchanted rose petals. Harry then surfs onto the bed and flips the guitar into the air. He sings.**

**Harry: GINNY, GINNY, GINNY, GINNY, YOU'RE COOL, YOU'RE MY GIRLFRIEND, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH OTHER THAN ALL THE GIRLFRIENDS THAT EVER WERE IN THE WORLD! I love you, Ginny Weasley! You're the most magical creature I've ever seen! Surprise! A present! (hands her the diary from the Department of Mysteries)**

"Called it," Malfoy grinned.

"Very nice, Harry," Hermione giggled. "Now, next time, just try and make it seem like you actually put effort into writing it."

Ginny laughed. "Aw, don't listen to her. I loved it." She kissed his cheek.

**(Ginny lets out a small shriek)**

**Ginny: Ahhhhhh! Harry Potter, you're the best boyfriend ever! A diary! Oh boy!**

**Harry: Yup. Those Death Eaters aren't using it anymore, so I figured I'd give it to you as a going back to Hogwarts gift.**

**Ginny: Oh, Harry Potter! It's perfect! I'm going to go write in it right away! (she leaves)**

**Harry: Hey, Ron. Hey, Weasleys.**

**Weasleys: Hey, good buddy. (Ron gives them a glare)**

**Harry: Guys, thanks for letting me stay at the Burrow all summer.**

**Ron: No problem, pal. Sorry you had to share a bed with Ginny the whole time. It must be weird sleeping with your girlfriend.**

**Harry: No. It was weird that your mom was there too. And you. And your whole family. All in one bed. You guys are so poor.**

"Burn!" Malfoy said. Ginny pulled out from where Harry's arm was draped over her shoulders, pouting. Ron threw an empty candy box at him.

"It's not like I said it!" he defended himself. No answer.

**Ron: Yeah. You all packed for Hogwarts?**

**Harry: Yep. I got my invisibility cloak, that piece of mirrow Sirius gave me, and my talk boy. But what I cna't find is my lucky snitch. **

**Ron: You mean the one Dumbledore left you when he died?**

**Harry: Yeah, have you guys seen it? It has an inscription on the side of it that says "I open at the close," whatever the f*** that means.**

**Bill: Oh, I think I saw that... behind Fleur's ear. (Pulls snitch out from behind Fleur's ear)**

**Fleur: Bill! You did a magic! (They kiss and all Weasley's but Ron exit)**

**"Wow, so surprising, seeing as he's a wizard!" Hermione said sarcastically.**

**Ron: Man, I'm surrounded by people kissing! Bill and Fleur, you and Ginny! I wanna do that!**

**Harry: Dude, she's your sister, just ask her.**

Ron and Ginny seemed to forget they were mad at him and turned towards Harry, disgusted looks on thier faces.

"What?" Ginny asked incredulously. Harry shrugged, wondering what went through the heads of the writers when they wrote this.

**Ron: Eugh! Gross! No, I mean with Hermione!**

**Harry: Gross!**

**(Hermione enters, sighing and closing the book Mockingjay)**

**Hermione: Wow. Our young, depressed heroine reluctantly settles for the doughy boy next door. Another perfect end to another perfect young adult novel series. The Hunger Games, by Gilderoy Lockhart!**

Hermione groaned. "I think I'd die if it were his, mainly considering I love that series."

"Hermione, think about it," Harry reasoned. "If it's him, then he probably didn't write it." They all nodded, knowing it was true.

**Harry: Who's Gilderoy Lockhart?**

**Hermione: Who's Gilderoy Lockheart?! He's only my favorite author and idol! He's like the most talented, famous, beautiful wizard ever!**

"I thought the most beautiful wizard ever was Dumbledore, according to them?" Ron asked. The others shrugged.

**Hermione: He's given the world so many young adult novels. The Twilight Saga. The Hunger Games. Percy Jackson and whatever he did.**

**Harry: Twilight? Oh, I heard about that! I don't like how those books objectify men.**

**Hermione: Oh yeah? Have you ever read them? Have you ever read a book?**

**Harry: No! Have you ever not read a book?**

**Hermione: No! I just can't stand people who don't read! Ron, are you almost done with the Hunger Games? I gave you the first book weeks ago.**

**Ron: Uhhhhhh...**

"I'm gonna go with no," Ginny said.

**Ron: Uhhh... Yeah. Yes. I did. It was good. It was a good game. **

**Hermione: Oh really? What's it about?**

**Ron: Uhhhhhhh... It's about a... um... uh... hungry!... uh... withholding girl who won't kiss her boyfriend!**

"Scarily enough," Hermione said, "that description actually works with the book."

**Hermione: You did read it!**

**Ginny: Hey guys! I already told my diary, so now I'm gonna tell you! Breakfast is ready! Come on!**

**Narrarator: They walk downstairs to the dining room. The table is set. Bill, Fleur, and the other Weasleys enter.**

**Fleur: Bonjour, Weasleys!**

**Percy: Yeah, sorry my girlfriend couldn't be here everyone, but the wifi isn't working.**

**Bill: Percy, you don't have a girlfriend.**

**Percy: Eat it, creepo!**

**Bill: Booger Butt!**

**Molly: Boy's stop it! Arthur, say something! They don't respect me!**

**Arthur: Bill! Don't call your brother naems! Percy! Don't lie to the family, it hurts your poor mother! Look, she's crying!**

**Molly: I'll be fine! I'm just so sad that this is the last meal we have with these boys before they leave me for a whole year! (She hugs Harry and Ron tightly) I can't wait untill you're all done with Hogwarts so you can just move back in here! Like all my other children! Even Fred came back from the dead as a ghost to stay at home! (Fred appears)**

**Fred: The light... I can see the light... it's my time to move on now... looks like I won't be able to do the dishes... Percy will have to cover for me!**

The group couldn't help but laugh, if a little sadly. "That's so something he'd do, too," Ginny giggled.

**Molly: Oh Fred, knock it off. And get out of the table! (George comes around the corner with a sheet over his head and eye holes cut out)**

**George: But I'm Fred!**

**Molly: George! (Everyone laughs except Percy)**

**Percy: That's not funny. (He laughs a little bit though)**

"I swear," Ron said with a grin, "they got Perce spot on."

Harry nodded with a matching smile. "Yeah."

**Molly: That includes you, Harry! The second you're done with Hogwarts you're more than welcome to move right in here!**

**Harry: Golly, that's really nice of you Mrs. Weasley.**

"Golly. I don't recall you ever using the word golly. Ever," Ginny said. The others couldn't help but to agree.

**Molly: So... Are you moving in or not?**

**Harry: Um, I don't know. I guess I never though about life after Hogwarts. It's the only home I've ever known. I can't even imagine leaving it behind.**

**Bill: Well you don't have to worry about that yet, Harry. You've still got your whole senior year.**

**Arthur: Speaking of senior year! I've got a present for you Ronnie my boy! It's a Weasley family tradition! Here you go son, the keys to the flying car!**

Ron made a disgruntled noise. "Yeah, I wish."

**Weasleys: Yeah!**

**Arthur: Yep! You're going to Hogwarts in style! And you can have it all year son!**

**Harry & Ron: This is gonna be the best year ever!**

**Arthur: It sure is! Cheers everyone! To senior year!**

**Everyone: To senior year! (they clink glasses)**

The music began again, causing Ron and Draco to groan simeoultaneously.

"They're gonna sing again?" Draco complained, while Ron grumbled incoherently.

**Ron: WE'RE GOING BACK TO HOGWARTS FOR THE VERY LAST TIME**

**Hermione: OUR FINAL YEAR, AT LAST IT'S HERE, TIME TO START OUR LIVES**

**Ginny: AND EVERYONE'S EXCITED 'BOUT WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS FOR YOU**

**WHAT THE WORLD'S MOST FAMOUS WIZARD IS GONNA GET INTO**

**Ron, Ginny, & Hermione: WELL WE'RE GOING BACK TODAY**

**IN THE VERY SAME OLD WAY**

**TELL ME HARRY, CAN'T YOU HEAR**

**IT'S GONNA BE YOUR YEAR**

**IT'S A VERY POTTER SENIOR YEAR!**

**(They hear the Flying Car beep as it magically pulls up)**

Hermione looked thoughtful. "They aren't really going back in the same old way if they're taking a car instead of the train, are they?"

**Ron: Come on, guys! Let's hop in the flying car and get outta here!**

**Weasleys: Bye!**

**Arthur: I love you so much!**

**(Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny get in the Flying Car and take off for Hogwarts)**

**Ron: I NEVER THOUGHT THAT WE WOULD GET THIS FAR **

**BUT WE MADE IT, WE'RE ON TOP OF THE THE WORLD**

**Girls: WE'RE ON TOP OF THE WORLD**

**Ron: I FEEL UNSTOPPABLE, I'M SUPER-CHARGED**

**All 3: IT'S CONTAGIOUS THAT'S FOR SURE **

**WE'RE ON TOP OF THE WORLD**

**Hermione: WE'LL HAVE SOME COOL NEW SPELLS TO LEARN **

**AND WE'RE GONNA EARN GOOD GRADES**

"That's so you, Mione!" Ron said. Hermione blushed scarlet, knowing it was true.

**Ginny: YOU'RE GONNA SPEND LOTSA TIME WITH ME**

**AND THIS IS GONNA BE THE VERY BEST YEAR.**

**All 3: THE VERY BEST YEAR!**

**IT'S A VERY POTTER SENIOR YEAR!**

**SENIOR YEAR!**

**WE'RE NOT JUST KIDS ANYMORE! **

**SENIOR YEAR! SENIOR YEAR!**

**BETTER THAN EVER BEFORE!**

**IT'S A VERY POTTER SENIOR YEAR!**

"Wait a sec," Harry said, a confused look on his face. "Why is Ginny singing about senior year when she's a year below?" The others shrugged.

**Ron: Come on Harry, it's your turn!**

**Ginny smiled. "We finally get to hear you sing, Harry," she said, elbowing her husband in the side.**

**Harry: SOMETHING'S ON THE HORIZON**

**AND I KNOW THAT SOMETHING IS ME.**

**I'VE BEEN REALIZIN'**

**THERE'S NO ONE ELSE I'D RATHER BE THAN ME**

**YOU KNOW I'M GONNA RULE THE SCHOOL!**

Draco sneered. "Self-absorbed much, Potter?" They ignored him.

**Ron: JUST REMEMBER WHEN YOU NEED A FRIEND **

**OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER ENDS**

**I'LL BE THERE**

**Girls: WE'RE AT YOUR SIDE!**

**Hermione: DON'T FORGET I'VE GOT A HAND TO LEND**

**YOU DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND ANYMORE!**

**Ginny & Ron: NO DON'T DO THAT!**

**Harry: CAUSE YOU'RE THE VERY BEST FRIENDS TO ME AND THIS IS GONNA BE THE VERY BEST YEAR! **

**All: THE VERY BEST YEAR!**

**IT'S A VERY POTTER SENIOR YEAR! **

**SENIOR YEAR! **

**WE'RE NOT JUST KIDS ANYMORE!**

**SENIOR YEAR! SENIOR YEAR!**

**BETTER THAN EVER BEFORE!**

**Girls: THIS IS THE LAST TIME.**

**Harry: I'LL BE THE KING OF THE SCHOOL.**

**Ron: OH MAN, IT'S GONNA RULE!**

**Girls: THIS IS THE LAST TIME.**

**Ron: WE GOTTA MAKE IT COUNT.**

**Harry: THAT'S WHAT I'M ALL ABOUT!**

**Girls: THIS IS THE MAGIC!**

**Boys: OF GROWING UP AND SHOWING UP FOR**

**All: SENIOR YEAR!**

**Girls: THIS IS THE LAST TIME.**

**Harry: AND SOON ALL THE FUN **

**WILL BE OVER AND DONE.**

"Way to shift to a depressing mood," Harry grumbled.

**Ginny, Ron, & Hermione: THIS IS THE LAST TIME**

**Harry: IT'S KINDA HARD TO PRETEND**

**THAT I'M NOT SCARED OF THE END.**

**Ginny, Ron, & Hermione: THIS IS THE MAGIC**

**Harry: THERE MUST BE SOMETHING MORE**

**BUT I SHOULD GET READY FOR **

**MY SENIOR-**

**All: SENIOR YEAR! SENIOR YEAR!**

**WE'RE NOT JUST KIDS ANYMORE!**

**SENIOR YEAR! SENIOR YEAR!**

**BETTER THAN EVER BEFORE!**

**Harry: IT'S A VERY POTTER-**

**Ron: A VERY POTTER-**

**Hermione: A VERY POTTER-**

**Ginny: A VERY POTTER-**

**All: IT'S A VERY POTTER SENIOR YEAR!**

"Finally!" Ron groaned. A fan behind them heard them, and Ron was promptly hit in the back of the head with a Redvine. "Bloody hell! Crazy fans!" he grumbled.

**Narrarator: Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny look out their windshield to see Hogwarts off in the distance.**

**Ron: Well, there she is. Hogwarts. Welcome hoe, Harry.**

**Harry: Okay Ron, just land in that courtyard over there so everyone can see how cool we look.**

**Ron: You got it, buddy. **

**Narrarator: As they descend the ride becomes very turbulent.**

**Harry: Ron, keep her steady, man. Don't hit the Whomping Willow or anything.**

**Ron: Okay, dude, I'm trying! Uh oh! We're going down! Hold on!**

**Harry: To what?!**

**All: Ahhhhhhhhh! (They crash)**


End file.
